Cicero

It is only these mature friendships that can be permanent.

This maxim, then, let it be whose it will, is the utter destruction of friendship.

The true rule is to take such care in the selection of our friends as never to enter upon a friendship with a man whom we could under any circumstances come to hate.

Nor, indeed, is it possible for one to be trustworthy and firm who is unsympathetic by nature and unmoved by what affects ourselves.

First, he will be entirely without any make-believe or pretence of feeling; for the open display even of dislike is more becoming to an ingenuous character than a studied concealment of sentiment.

Secondly, he will not only reject all accusations brought against his friend by another, but he will not be suspicious himself either, nor be always thinking that his friend has acted improperly.

A gloomy temper and unvarying gravity may be very impressive; but friendship should be a little less unbending, more indulgent and gracious, and more inclined to all kinds of good-fellowship and good-nature.

But here is another golden rule in friendship: put yourself on a level with your friend.

If any of us have any advantage in personal character, intellect, or fortune, we should be ready to make our friends sharers and partners in it with ourselves.

This is why true friendship is very difficult to find among those who engage in politics and the contest for office.

Where can you find the man to prefer his friend's advancement to his own?

For difference of character leads to difference of aims, and the result of such diversity is to estrange friends.

Another good rule in friendship is this: do not let an excessive affection hinder the highest interests of your friends.

Again, it often happens that important business makes it necessary to part from friends: the man who tries to baulk it, because he thinks that he cannot endure the separation, is of a weak and effeminate nature, and on that very account…

There are, of course, limits to what you ought to expect from a friend and to what you should allow him to demand of you.

But unless this feeling is transferred to another, what a real friend is will never be revealed; for he is, as it were, a second self.

For man not only loves himself, but seeks another whose spirit he may so blend with his own as almost to make one being of two.

But most people unreasonably, not to speak of modesty, want such a friend as they are unable to be themselves, and expect from their friends what they do not themselves give.

The fair course is first to be good yourself, and then to look out for another of like character.

And this shows the mistake of those who imagine that friendship gives a privilege to licentiousness and sin.

Nature has given us friendship as the handmaid of virtue, not as a partner in guilt: to the end that virtue, being powerless when isolated to reach the highest objects, might succeed in doing so in union and partnership with another.

This being our best and highest object, we must, if we desire to attain it, devote ourselves to virtue; for without virtue we can obtain neither friendship nor anything else desirable.

In fact, if virtue be neglected, those who imagine themselves to possess friends will find out their error as soon as some grave disaster forces them to make trial of them.

Wherefore, I must again and again repeat, you must satisfy your judgment before engaging your affections: not love first and judge afterwards.

For the advantages of genius and virtue, and in short, of every kind of superiority, are never realized to their fullest extent until they are bestowed upon our nearest and dearest.