James Traficant: “the Old Glory Condom Corporation lost the decision. They were not allowed to sell red, white, and blue condoms, so they…”

“the Old Glory Condom Corporation lost the decision. They were not allowed to sell red, white, and blue condoms, so they appealed. They said their red, white, and blue condoms were a patriotic symbol, and, yes, Members guessed it, the U.S. Trademark Office of Appeals agreed. The panel said the Old Glory condom is not unconstitutional. One can wear it. If that is not enough to constipate our veterans, two men from Columbus, Ohio, were recently charged with burning a gay pride flag during a parade. Think about it. It is illegal to burn leaves and trash in America. It is illegal to damage a mailbox. Now it is illegal to burn a gay pride flag. And it is completely legal and patriotic to wear a red, white, and blue condom. Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. I think if American citizens want to make a political statement, they should burn their brassieres, burn their boxer shorts, but leave Old Glory alone, period. I support this resolution. It is about time. A people that do not honor and respect their flag do not honor and respect their neighbors nor their country. This is more than about a flag. The gentlewoman from California is right, we pledge allegiance to the flag and to the Nation for which the flag stands; the flag, which our veterans carried in the war, those who were shot down, only to have it picked up by somebody else, surely to be shot down again. It should not be treated like an Old Glory condom.”