Historical voices

This sort of man is rare; and indeed all excellent things are rare; and nothing in the world is so hard to find as a thing entirely and completely perfect of its kind.

Generally speaking, there is but one way of securing and providing oneself against faults and inconveniences of this sort--not to be too hasty in bestowing our affection, and not to bestow it at all on unworthy objects.

Next, we should take care that friendship is not converted into active hostility, from which flow personal quarrels, abusive language, and angry recriminations.

Our first object, then, should be to prevent a breach; our second, to secure that, if it does occur, our friendship should seem to have died a natural rather than a violent death.

For there can be nothing more discreditable than to be at open war with a man with whom you have been intimate.

There are, of course, limits to what you ought to expect from a friend and to what you should allow him to demand of you.

Again, it often happens that important business makes it necessary to part from friends: the man who tries to baulk it, because he thinks that he cannot endure the separation, is of a weak and effeminate nature, and on that very account…

Another good rule in friendship is this: do not let an excessive affection hinder the highest interests of your friends.

For difference of character leads to difference of aims, and the result of such diversity is to estrange friends.

It is only these mature friendships that can be permanent.

As a general rule, we must wait to make up our mind about friendships till men's characters and years have arrived at their full strength and development.

But granting that you can give anyone anything you choose, you must have a care that it does not prove to be beyond his powers.

Now the measure of your benefits should be in the first place your own power to bestow, and in the second place the capacity to bear them on the part of him on whom you are bestowing affection and help.

People who are always bringing up their services are a nuisance.

For in friendship and relationship, just as those who possess any superiority must put themselves on an equal footing with those who are less fortunate, so these latter must not be annoyed at being surpassed in genius, fortune, or rank.

For the advantages of genius and virtue, and in short, of every kind of superiority, are never realized to their fullest extent until they are bestowed upon our nearest and dearest.

If any of us have any advantage in personal character, intellect, or fortune, we should be ready to make our friends sharers and partners in it with ourselves.

But here is another golden rule in friendship: put yourself on a level with your friend.

A gloomy temper and unvarying gravity may be very impressive; but friendship should be a little less unbending, more indulgent and gracious, and more inclined to all kinds of good-fellowship and good-nature.

Secondly, he will not only reject all accusations brought against his friend by another, but he will not be suspicious himself either, nor be always thinking that his friend has acted improperly.

First, he will be entirely without any make-believe or pretence of feeling; for the open display even of dislike is more becoming to an ingenuous character than a studied concealment of sentiment.

Nor, indeed, is it possible for one to be trustworthy and firm who is unsympathetic by nature and unmoved by what affects ourselves.

You can never trust a character which is intricate and tortuous.

Where can you find the man to prefer his friend's advancement to his own?