Cass Ballenger: “I have been following these accusations of campaign finance scandals and reform and outrageous political corruption with…”

“I have been following these accusations of campaign finance scandals and reform and outrageous political corruption with great interest. But I must admit, I am having an awfully hard time keeping up. My Democrat friends insist that it is just political and that there is really nothing to them. Since my good friends on the liberal side of the aisle have such a sterling reputation for fairness and their own ironclad commitment to nonpartisanship, I would like them to clear up a few questions I have, questions I am sure they are just as eager to have answered as I am. So, who did hire Craig Livingston at the White House? You know, the former bouncer put in charge of security at the White House and who somehow ended up with 900 FBI files on us Republicans? Another question I have is, what is the difference between a fund-raiser and a finance-related event? I would like to know so that I too can get around the same laws which restrict such activities. Why did John Huang hide for several days from a Federal judge in order to keep embarrassing fund-raising revelations quiet until after the 1996 election? Does anyone have those answers?”