On the recordJuly 25, 2012
``The Dark Side of Death'' by Tom Davis. The good news: my chemotherapy is working and I'm still buying green bananas. I've lost about 50 pounds. (I need to lose 49.) . . . False hope is my enemy, also self pity, which went out the window when I saw children with cancer. I try to embrace the inevitable with whatever grace I can muster, and find the joy in each day. I've always been good at that, but now I'm getting really good at that. I wake up in the morning, delighted to be waking up, read, write, feed the birds, watch sports on TV, accepting the fact that in the foreseeable future I will be a dead person. I want to remind you that dead people are people too. There are good dead people and bad dead people. Some of my best friends are dead people. Dead people have fought in every war. We are all going to try it sometime. Fortunately for me, I have always enjoyed mystery and solitude. Many people in my situation say, ``It's been my worst and best year.'' If that sounds like a cliche, you don't have cancer. On the plus side, I am grateful to have gained real, not just intellectual empathy. I was prepared to go through life without having suffered, and I was doing a good job of it. Now I know what it's like to starve. And to accept ``that over which I have no control,'' I had to turn inward. People from all over my life are reconnecting with me, and I've tried to take responsibility for my deeds, good and bad. I think I've finally grown up.…
