Political Quotes

“When folks hear that this study was funded by taxpayer dollars, I am sure there will be equal disgust by both Republicans and Democrats. Another study was funded to see if one can outrun a dinosaur. The NSF and NIH gave taxpayer dollars to enterprising researchers who are not deterred by the fact that dinosaurs are now extinct. They found an alligator was close enough. They had to put him on a treadmill to find out how fast he could run. They found out what nobody--certainly not even the Presiding Officer from Louisiana--would discover; that alligators don't like treadmills very much. He wasn't very cooperative, but they went ahead with the study, and found that humans could probably outrun a dinosaur. It is a good thing. ``Are cheerleaders more attractive when they are a part of a squad?'' was another study we funded. This was a NSF taxpayer-funded grant that was actually inspired by the sitcom ``How I met Your Mother.'' They had something on that show called the cheerleader theory. Researchers found that the answer is, yes, cheerleaders are more attractive as part of a squad than individually. Their tongue-in-cheek research paper postulates that ``having a few wingmen or wingwomen may indeed be good dating strategy, particularly if their facial features complement, and average out, one's unattractive idiosyncrasies.'' That brings us full circle, as the White House has asked Congress to appropriate $1.5 billion for emergency spending to tackle the latest crisis, Zika.…”