Political Quotes

“I want to bring to the attention of the House a serious problem that we have encountered. It seems as though we have such a problem on our borders that now, in southeast Texas, in a small port city called Port Arthur, three illegal Brazilians have shown up in the last couple of days. They have come into the port of Port Arthur and they were stowaways on this massive ship that was bringing in Brazilian paper pulp. Thirteen thousand tons of this pulp was brought in on this ship, and through inspection by Federal authorities, they found three stowaways--three illegals from the nation of Brazil. Now, you probably assume that I'm talking about people, but I am not. Here is one of those stowaways, one that they actually captured and gave an identification number. You see, the three stowaways turned out to be three grasshoppers. Little bitty critters. Yet our United States Agriculture Department was able to investigate and find these three little illegal stowaways in this massive amount of paper pulp from Brazil. So they took the pulp, and it's sitting on the dock. It's going to be sprayed down for any disease. They even gave one of these grasshoppers an official government ID number. Here it is down here: 234735719. Of course, the grasshopper was found in Jefferson County, Texas. The other two, apparently, didn't look quite as bad as this one.…”