Political Quotes

“Mr. President, it has been proposed that there is no place to cut, that all of this spending is being used in such a noble fashion. I would propose that there are a couple of areas we might all agree on. We spend about $1 million studying Japanese quail to see if they are more sexually promiscuous on cocaine. Hmm. It seems like we could have just polled the audience on that one. It seems pretty clear. But we can't even cut things like that--$1 million studying Japanese quail on cocaine to see if they are more sexually promiscuous. We spend $2 million studying whether, when you go to Luby's and you go to the cafeteria and someone sneezes in front of you on the food, you are more or less likely to take that food. Could we not cut that? We spend about three-quarters of a million dollars studying selfies. If you take a selfie of yourself smiling and look at it later in the day, does it make you happy? One of my favorites comes from 40 or 50 years ago, but the organization still exists and still keeps getting more money. This was from a conservative Democrat. This was a long time ago when they existed. William Proxmire used to do the Golden Fleece Award. One of his favorites was, they wanted to determine which made you more aggressive--tequila or gin--so they got a group of fish, and they fed a group of fish gin, and then they fed the other group of fish tequila. I scratch my head and say: Well, gosh, everybody knows, right? It has to be tequila.…”