Barack Obama actually said...

It is wonderful to be here. I want to express my appreciation for the opportunity to tell jokes that weren't funny enough for me to use when...

I do have to say, though, that while it's been reported as an accident, there were some suspicious circumstances. Just before the incident, ...

In all seriousness, despite the jokes I have told, I'm here tonight because I appreciate the work the tall of you do and the role that you p...

Mika and I have a lot in common. We both have partners named Joe who used to be in Congress and don't know when to stop talking.