Barack Obama actually said...

"In his new position, Mike will stay focused on our primary economic goals: promoting growth, creating jobs, and strengthening the middle class."

"The United States will only consider the use of nuclear weapons in extreme circumstances to defend the vital interests of the United States or its allies and partners."

"I'm especially pleased that I've been able to bring Michelle and Malia and Sasha along."

"I hereby delegate to you the reporting functions conferred upon the President by section 491 of title 10, United States Code."