Barack Obama actually said...

"In all seriousness, despite the jokes I have told, I'm here tonight because I appreciate the work the tall of you do and the role that you play. You report the news as it happens and you cover history..."

"I do have to say, though, that while it's been reported as an accident, there were some suspicious circumstances. Just before the incident, Secret Service spotted Richard Holbrooke spraying WD40, all ..."

"It is wonderful to be here. I want to express my appreciation for the opportunity to tell jokes that weren't funny enough for me to use when we did this five weeks ago."

"But just recently, President Obama vowed to end those raids."