Donald Trump actually said...

"By popular demand, I'm doing a new series of Trump digital trading cards."

"I want to be a dictator for one day. Because I'm going to get going with Drill Baby Drill, and I'm going to strengthen the borders to a level like you've never seen."

"I have reached an agreement with the radical left Democrats for a debate with Comrade Kamala Harris."

"We'll get the resignations of every single senior official who touched the Afghanistan calamity to be on my desk at noon on Inauguration Day."