Bill Clinton: “This plan will create jobs and lift up the American people.”

You mean to tell me that the success of the program and my re-election hinges on the Federal Reserve and a bunch of fucking bond traders?

I don't think any person with a straight face can tell you that Katrina was caused by global warming. But what we do know, what the evidence shows, is that there is an increase in the number and severity of bad weather events all across…

Look, only elections are going to change this.

I might not be around if I hadn't become a vegan. It's great.