Grover Cleveland actually said...

"It is hereby ordered that the several Executive Departments, the Department of Agriculture, and the Government Printing Office be closed on Monday the 5th instant."

"I am utterly unable to discover any relation between this accident and the military service."

"It seems to me that it by no means follows that those intrusted with the people's business and the expenditure of the people's money are justified in so executing the pension laws as that they shall f..."

"I never thought of trying getting a pension until my old comrades urged me to do so."