Calvin Coolidge actually said...

"I don't know of any special Christmas pardons that are likely to come along."

"I don't recall that I ever made any suggestion that after I finished my term of office I was going to engage in the occupation of whittling."

"I don't want to keep getting jackknives under false pretenses."

"my desire to establish as soon as can be an air service between this country and the countries south of the Rio Grande"