Woodrow Wilson actually said...

"If I want to know how many people live in a small town all I have to do is to go there and they at once line up to be counted."

"I am both glad and sorry to be here; glad because I am always happy to be with you, and know and like so many of you, and sorry because I have to make a speech."

"There are two reasons why the chief wish of America is for peace."

"Sometimes, when I am most beset, I seriously think of renting a pair of whiskers or of doing something else that will furnish me with an adequate disguise."