Donald Trump actually said...

"Only two weeks until we start shooting @CelebApprentice. We really have something amazing for the fans this year."

"I wonder what @JoeBiden was thinking last night as @PaulRyanVP delivered that knockout speech. Joe should call in sick for the VP debate."

".@BarackObama's dismal job record is reason alone that he must be defeated this November."

"It's Wednesday, how much money is China stealing from us today?"